Areader was recently invited to lunch in the private dining rooms at UBS in London. On the table in front of him was a menu listing what he was about to eat. Nothing odd about that, but then he flipped the card over and found a peculiar declaration printed on the back.
It is rather long, but I’m quoting it in full as it is the most extreme example I’ve ever seen of a company tripping up as it tries to prove how upstanding it is: “At UBS we promote a corporate culture that adheres to the highest ethical standards across all areas of our business. Our commitment to excellence in all we do, combined with a desire to understand and fulfil our clients’ requirements translates into our client dining experience. That is why, where possible, our menus are crafted from the finest seasonal produce which is ethically sourced, organic and unsurpassed in quality and value. Just like our business.”
This is an object lesson in how not to do it. For a start, no organisation should ever announce in public that it is ethical. There is hardly a company left that does not do this, but it makes no sense. First, to do so is meaningless – what business would ever boast that it was unethical? Secondly, it looks particularly comic coming from a bank that recently lost its CEO after Kweku Adoboli made $2.3bn disappear in allegedly unauthorised trades, and which has been in trouble with US and UK regulators.