In the club trade, they are called PIs — it stands for “possibly intoxicated”. It’s a nice way of saying someone has drunk too much, and there is a list of things to look out for: falling over, falling asleep, crying or showing other signs of distress.
The staff don’t want anyone in the club who is overly drunk but they also don’t want to chuck them out on the street. So they bring them to a quiet area that acts as a holding bay and that’s where I come in. I’m part of a team of Christian volunteers called Club Angels, who work inside nightclubs and bars to assist those who are in a state. Sometimes we just provide a listening ear.
A-level results night was mayhem. All I did was take sick buckets from people’s hands, empty them into the loo and give them back again. I’m not fazed by the sick, I’m being useful. And who else would do it if we didn’t? It’s not actually that bad to deal with: normally the clubbers haven’t eaten, they’ve just been drinking cocktails or Jägerbombs.