Sleep deprivation. Any working mother knows what that feels like. When you have your first baby, no one tells you how little sleep you will get. Even if they do, you dismiss it, not realising what sleep deprivation feels like. When you are constantly woken up, you feel terrible; and when you are not woken up, you start panicking.
When Cost Centre #1 was very little, if he hadn't woken me by 5am, I would lie in bed and argue with myself about whether I should get up and go and see if we had had a cot death. “He hasn't woken up and it is already 5am, go and see if he's OK,” would say the voice in one ear. “If I go and see if he's OK, he'll wake up,” would come the reply. “What if he isn't OK?” “If we have had a cot death, no doctor will come out at 6am, and if we haven't, then leave him to sleep. Either way, don't go and check!”
When they get older, not much changes. CC#1, now 20, recently attended the birthday party of a university friend at a bowling alley in Bayswater. He asked me if he could stay in London that night, in the second bedroom we have above our office. I was staying there too and thought that sounded like an excellent idea, so I issued him with a set of keys. I stopped work at 11pm and went to bed.