Every year at around this time I hand out awards for paradigm-shifting, best-in-class management guff. I had expected the 2009 Guff Awards to be a sorry affair, as the bullshit industry has been suffering its worst slump since the Great Depression. But as I went through my bullshit cupboard I was surprised and reassured by the quality of the material. Even in bad times, it seems, some managers can still push the envelope and go the extra mile. So, without more ado, I'm going to get on and hand out the prizes.
The first is for the best noun pretending to be a verb. This is always a fiercely contested category, but in 2009 there was a clear winner: Neil McMahon, an oil analyst, told the Wall Street Journal that Exxon “might be able to change the industry structure forever and gap away from competitors”. McMahon has thus gapped away from competitors and scoops up the prize.
The next award is for the most grating use of the preposition “up”. In previous years there have been some great entries here: to head up and to flag up. But this year's is more unusual. It comes from a persistent PR man who said in an unsolicited e-mail: “I wanted to circle up with you to make sure you had received my note below.” Curl up, I understand. Circle up, I don't.