At a recent management training session on “having difficult conversations” in the workplace, I started to laugh. Everything about this particular class felt familiar. We were told to focus on the change in behaviour we wanted to see within our teams, not the wrongdoing, to be empathetic in our approach, rather than confrontational, and to acknowledge the negative feelings a member of staff might have before trying to remedy the situation. In short, it was exactly like the tips and tricks handed out by the gentle parenting brigade.
I’m sure Dr Becky, the psychologist who doles out parenting hacks on Instagram, would have been impressed. She’s one of the earnest types who tell the ragged guardians of tiny dictators to remember that a temper tantrum is just “a ball of desire”. Rather than have a meltdown of your own in response to your screaming toddler, your priority is to stay calm and keep the child safe.
This seems perfectly reasonable. But as someone who has graduated from the school of Indian parenting, where throwing food or being unkind to elders was sacrilege and academic excellence was non-negotiable, this more forgiving model of raising kids is something I really would like to embrace but have to try extremely hard at with my own toddler.